Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Demons Downtown

The Colorado Springs Independent is out with its annual "You're Sooo Colorado Springs" round-up.

To fulfill my obligation to be a religion blog, I'll list a few observations that readers from outside the "Protestant Vatican" might enjoy.

You're sooo Colorado Springs if . . .

10. You plan to meet friends for coffee and you bring your laptop, cell phone, Blackberrg, iPod, digital camera, and Bible.

9. You think all nonprofits have religious affiliations.

8. You've never been to a church that didn't have a multimedia service.

7. You recognize that there are more churches in town than east-west turn lanes.

6. You can recite at least 20 pages of the Bible from memory, but can't remember to use your turn signals.

5. You think demons will steal your soul if you go downtown.

4. You know the difference between Odd- and Evan- Gelicals.

3. You had so many Bible studies at Starbucks, they have replaced their windows with stained glass.

2. You lobby to change to name of the Garden of the Gods to Garden of the One True God: Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, Amen.

and number one . . .

1. You're scared to go to Manitou Springs because of the witches.

I mean, that is, like, so Seventies! I have yellowed newspaper clippings about the witches of Manitou. Ah, the persistence of folk memory!

(Ah, the rituals and parties we had in the old Spa Building. . . )

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Anonymous feithline said...


This was highly entertaining. Thank you. :)


3:56 PM  
Anonymous Monica said...

Let's face it, some things never change - like a Fundie's closed mind. You can beat them over the head with the Gazette Telegraph all you want. You don't think those folks actually read, never mind read the Independent, do you?

The Indie needs to start a feature called, "You're so Manitou!"

You're so Manitou if you persist in living here despite threats from strangers to send you off to be deprogrammed by Chuck Assay.

You're so Manitou if you lived here for 20 years and never touched a drop of any liquid other than a Laughing Lab or two down at the Mariner. Only tourists drink out of those springs. The water will make you nuts as a tourist informed me just the other day.

You're so Manitou if you not only know where Gog and McGog rocks are, but you once actually hiked up there to have a ceremoney to exorcise the spirit of Jim Dobson from your tool shed.

You're so Manitou if you get a kick out of coming across an old Manitoid friend's blog!

How you guys doing?

7:42 PM  
Blogger Chas S. Clifton said...


Send me an email at the address under the Researching Paganisms cover!


6:25 PM  

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